Saturday, 18 March 2017

i'm woman

that moment when you get your heart broken into several uncountable pieces...
it its not like these things just happen, we have already perceived it from miles away, we know when someone is shady and lying and hiding things, we know when a story is not straight, we know when you slip and choke on your words, we know what response you would give to every question, even before you say it.
why then do we get to listen to your cheap, uncoordinated stories of lies? are we stupid? weak? or just silly? it is my conviction as a woman that we listen to you because we expect that you wouldn't embarrass yourself and lie, we give second and 15th chances not because we cant get your sorry ass outta the way, nope! its cos its in our nature to nurture, and with that instincts, we also let a grown man fool himself hoping that redemption would knock on your heart soon.
the above draft was written a year ago, for a moment i couldn't remember what exactly happened on the said day, but i went back to my album and got all the reminder i needed,
the crazy part is that i still feel same way now, because not much has changed, the lies are still there, the uncoordinated stories are still there, i still have fresh evidences, but why am i still holding on? haven't i reached the limit of 2nd chances that should be given? (abi dem do me from my village ni?) first draft it was " fake youlia" now it is Margaret...
i will keep this draft and see maybe next year will be a Sandra or Folakemi.
i don't want to talk about how i feel (stupid because i opened this blog to talk about my feelings, but they are just too much in a messed up place right now, so i'm going to just shut up and watch)
I am woman hear me roar, in numbers to big to ignore, and i know too much to go back and pretend, (Helen Reddy).
they say, you know you are healed when you can truly laugh about the things that once hurt you,(i guess i am then)
you see, the first part of this was written a year ago, the second was written December last year, and this is march 2017.... time sure does make things seem vain.

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