Saturday, 18 March 2017

i'm woman

that moment when you get your heart broken into several uncountable pieces...
it its not like these things just happen, we have already perceived it from miles away, we know when someone is shady and lying and hiding things, we know when a story is not straight, we know when you slip and choke on your words, we know what response you would give to every question, even before you say it.
why then do we get to listen to your cheap, uncoordinated stories of lies? are we stupid? weak? or just silly? it is my conviction as a woman that we listen to you because we expect that you wouldn't embarrass yourself and lie, we give second and 15th chances not because we cant get your sorry ass outta the way, nope! its cos its in our nature to nurture, and with that instincts, we also let a grown man fool himself hoping that redemption would knock on your heart soon.
the above draft was written a year ago, for a moment i couldn't remember what exactly happened on the said day, but i went back to my album and got all the reminder i needed,
the crazy part is that i still feel same way now, because not much has changed, the lies are still there, the uncoordinated stories are still there, i still have fresh evidences, but why am i still holding on? haven't i reached the limit of 2nd chances that should be given? (abi dem do me from my village ni?) first draft it was " fake youlia" now it is Margaret...
i will keep this draft and see maybe next year will be a Sandra or Folakemi.
i don't want to talk about how i feel (stupid because i opened this blog to talk about my feelings, but they are just too much in a messed up place right now, so i'm going to just shut up and watch)
I am woman hear me roar, in numbers to big to ignore, and i know too much to go back and pretend, (Helen Reddy).
they say, you know you are healed when you can truly laugh about the things that once hurt you,(i guess i am then)
you see, the first part of this was written a year ago, the second was written December last year, and this is march 2017.... time sure does make things seem vain.

An After Taste of TLU.

I cant sleep....
This has been going on since i returned from Nigeria two weeks ago (yes i went home!)...
No.... i am not thinking of anything (well nothing in particular, just random thoughts)....
I need sleep like yesterday, i have Prada ( eye)bags now on both eyes (not funny)....
I have written and deleted , my head is just full of so much to rant about....

So to night i got angry all over again, why you may ask?
 well let me analyse this for you....
 Nigeria was colonized by the British in the early 1900's, before they came we had our own different indigenous languages, they need a means to communicate so they forced down English on us, and ever since then, English has been the major language spoken so much as to earn it the right as the official language of the country.

I was born in the late 1980's so technically the language i was taught was English, i have lived over 25 years on this earth speaking, writing and breathing English Language.
While trying to gain admission to pursue my masters degree, i came across this country called Estonia, i met all the requirements to gain me an admission, but they claimed i had to write an English Language exam, i refused, explained to them that i speak better English than 90% of the people in the country, so i sent a letter from my home university stating that i studied my undergrad program in English and that my English is sound.

 Forward to the last semester before graduation, they came up again with the rule that i had to actually write that English exam and get a certain score (seriously cant remember what score exactly they wanted) but needless to say i took the IELTS and scored way above what they wanted.
Fast forward again to last week when i got a call from home to send my degree, and that was when i realized it was in Estonian Language, (NB; my two years program was taught in English, and not very good English from some lecturers, if i may say.)

 I contacted school to know why my certificate was in Estonian, considering i was in an English program, and after been transferred from one person to the other, it turns out the only explanation was that the certificate comes from the government not the university and as thus they cant make the government produce an English copy.

 This got me riled up because, i have family members who have also studied in Europe, and they were all given two copies of the certificate, one in English and the other in the countries Language.
 i had to go through the rigors of getting it translated (quite expensive i must add) and they couldn't even honor me by giving a signature from the university.
The troubling questions now are;

Why is Estonia different?
why do they have to insist on English Language exam before admission?
why is it a prerequisite to pass an English test before graduating?
why been taught in English and given Estonian certificate?
Why is it even more difficult to get the certificate translated by the university?
Why cant the university, ministry of education or 'the government' accept to get a translated and notarized copy signed and stamped?

I am still mad, because when i go back home, i have to present an A4 computer print out as my certificate from 'Abroad', it is going to be difficult to convince people that truly what i am showing them is a certificate, it is even difficult convincing myself.