Wednesday, 9 December 2015


It was the long awaited trip, i have been itching for this trip for the last year. funny is the fact that this trip was cancelled last year for security reasons, which for the life of me i cant remember what happened within that period, but this year with all the Terrorist attacks and Russia all over the place, as well as the direct scare to Brussels, this trip was a success.

Any ways i am so glad it worked out well, i had the most amazing time, i had fun, i laughed, forgot about some personal issues for a while and lived! do not get me wrong, Tallinn isnt that terrible as i always say to people, but i just needed to get the hell outta there for a even an hour, maybe it is the fact that it gets dark at 3 pm or i'm finally integrating and turning 'white' , but i have been sad (depressed) for some time now, i know depression is not a Nigerian thing, but either that, or i was just harboring so much on my mind and i was almost going crazy, so this breathe of fresh air in Brussels was a welcomed idea.
My dearest friend Kellz, this part is for you,
 I have heard so much of your fantasies of Mr H... i know i should have made the introductions some months ago, but as i always said, it sounded ridiculous to just 'accidentally' butt into him on the wall way and say, 'sorry, how are you doing today (even tho we dont ever speak, God knows why!), and by the way my friend over there, the really cute one has a super crush on you and here is here number or you know what, just add her up on Facebook.'. hellooooo ridiculous!

so i was with him today, i got to really speak to him (i'm sure it would be the last time, cos as i told you, we barely speak to each other) i know most things about him, inclusive and most annoying is the fact that he almost is never wrong on guesses, (you should try it, when you meet him, it is amazing), for me, the best part is that he can always bring 'African foodstuffs' for me, whenever he travels. (isnt that great? less stress for you i know). anyways, he is single , 'not searching' hot hot hot!(like you always say when you see him) thinks he is ready to date, but not sure why he isnt doing that already.(so go get him baby!)

I digress, back to Brussels, so it was a 2 day tightly scheduled trip, but hey! a girl cant go to a new city and just have a bath in the huge bathtub and sleep alone in the huge and O.M.G. inviting bed, so i took a brief detour, walked a long walk(which i didnt realize as at the time, because i was with a friend, and you know how we girls are, we always have something to talk about.) found an empty bus at the bus station, spoke the little French i could remember from high school, long story short, he gave us a free ride to the city center, and you know what next right? ...'selfie time!'
after a while of touring the city, we had to look for a way back, and behold, it was the same bus guy, (need i say he was cute... and the way he spoke the french to me, it was like a hard reset to my memory, everything just came rushing back!, hmmmmm

so we got back to the same bus and he dropped us right where he picked us up from, oops, i almost forgot, i made some new friends in the center as well, it was there first day in Brussels and they had no idea where they were going to , (just like me) a typical case of blind leading the blind if i must but it was fun to have spent time with new people and tried new thing,

On the long walk back to the hotel, i was so happy i was glowing, it was like i was in love.. maybe i was! there is something with french- the language, the cities, colonized or not, it just screams of love, i was happy until i got back to Tallinn! Damn, now i have to try hard to make myself happy in this country, because lets face it, nobody else will.

Friday, 13 November 2015

Inner Glow

There has been this uncommon aura around you these days, what is the secret? asks Mr A.

So babe tell me, wetin dey happen? this transformation no be here o! ah ahn! asks Ms B

Na wa o! you just go naija go brush up , freshen up, add up, wetin dem give you chop for there? asks MS C and MR D. 

These days your pictures are unique..what has changed?..seriously tell me....i want to follow too... asks Ms E. 

The list goes on and on, different diction's, all referring to one thing 'Change', i can not myself the fathom this change they all speak about (in case you haven't figured it yet, they are all referring to me), so i went home over this summer, spent 2 months at home in Nigeria, just eating and sleeping and earnestly trying to gain a few pounds, 

this wasn't my initial plan, i wanted to go home and eat, visit friends and family, gather materials for my thesis, etc... but i got home and in the sight of everybody i looked skinny dreadful, my younger one actually said i looked like a model out of a magazine, my mum was convinced i was sick of some sort, i know my dad had same thoughts but in place of words, he just kept buying mt fatty foods/snacks every single day , my grand ma, said i looked 5 years younger than my real age, (but not in a good way, because that would scare my prospective husband away, he might just think i am way too young for marriage) it is of cause always about marriage for grand parents.

then what did i do? i ate and ate and ate even more, i had a constant diet of a mixture of Malt and milk every night at 11 pm, (oh! what advice i did not get in other to gain some pounds), i wouldn't go into that, so as not scare the sh*t outta you.
at the end of the summer break, i couldn't fit into any of the clothes i went back home with, suffice to say that i went back everything i had except the winter clothing and then when there was no space in my luggage again, i gave the rest out to a second hand store, i just just one pair of jeans that i wore for the remaining two weeks till i came back to Europe.

this was good, because instead of clothing occupying space in my box, it gave me room for foodstuff, (oh boy, did i bring everything i could lay my hand on, literally everything that could pass airport control).

i'm eating well, i'm happyish, yet people are asking about the change in me? some even attributed it to a boy and or sex (like i would  need either of those to make me glow? inner beauty bi*ch!)

*heavy breathing! good to get that off my chest! 
stay tuned!
more coming your way.

Weekend Trip

It was Friday June the 12th, i was up at am, hurriedly took a shower and had a quick plate of cereal, left home at 7 and strolled to the Harbor where the rest of the group were already waiting for me,(just so you know, i didnt come late, they just came too early), so the thing is we planned a trip to Finland (Helsinki) and i thought it would be a fantastic idea to get away from the familiar buildings and routes in Estonia, get a little out of hand and have some fun in Helsinki, so i agreed to go.

In the ship it was exciting, we gisted and made a lot of noise, we were an odd group of 11, so been quiet was impossible, we had a lot to eat and drink, and then went to the dock for pictures (of cause it was my idea, lol). came back talked some more and laughed even harder. 

Cut the story short we got to Helsinki and then we realized no one actually as in actually was in charge, the lady who was to come pick us up was waiting in the city center and we needed to get to her, the panic began for some people, because we started debating on which Tram to take which ticket to buy, what was the schedule like, are going to stay together or not? 

So eventually we met her and she took us to have a meal and then said we would be fixed with different families and then meet Saturday evening, but she doesnt know which families that will be yet, (there was actually more indecision) i just called a friend and hooked myself up at her place, the group was scattered, we just went different ways, some people stayed out of Helsinki... some decided to stay over till Monday, i was in a comfortable place, but that was not the main idea of the trip, soi decided to take the last ship back to Tallinn on Saturday, i didnt enjoy the trip as i thought i would.

Helping Hand

 So i have turned this page to my impersonal diary, the use of this word is because this is an open site and hence i cant vent as much as i want. *sucks right?...
Anyways, i had some happy thoughts and wanted to pen them down, because it has been a while and my 'mind - heart-head - brain' whatever storage space i have is bursting full with events, crap, goodies, and all what not. now the thing tho, is that i couldn't for over an hour get to this page, 

I didn't have a clue at first, (remember i suck at technology), so i blamed myself for 45 minutes, finally realizing i was heading nowhere, as i kept opening and closing different pages, which ended up bringing back to where i started from in the first place. (come to think of it, i'm sure i was just going around in the same circle *ptff)

Thank goodness, i finally realized i couldn't get in because , OK back story -  i lent / gave someone my laptop  to use for some hours and she ended up setting her mail addy as the domain email, and thus, i have to go through her email to access any goggle related app! ( i know right?, what nerve she got!) so i had to now find that button, i mean i know i have seen it somewhere, sometime ago, you know, the one that says 'delete account', but i couldn't for the wold of me remember where i saw or how to get to it, ( this isnt funny) it took me another round in a different circle to finaly get to it, (whips sweat from face).

I have been known to always give a helping hand, but as we say in pidgin English ' this one hang me for neck', kai! i was so pissed  at the girl, (i'm sure she was having a blissful night rest wherever she was), after a while, i started been pissed with myself for so many things, inclusive of which was stupidity.

however, in the process of my round-abouting, i found some interesting thing about myself on the internet, lol,  i have to go back now and print that page.
see you soon.

Saturday, 6 June 2015

The Premier

I have missed so much in the last couple of years i have spent abroad, i cant even begin to count, you know, it is like that christian song 'count your blessings and name them one by seriously can you even begin to count? and if you want to, where would you start from? waking up every day, having peaceful sleeps, breath of life, the numerous unseen blessings, the seen ones that we just think are norms?

Ok, so i didnt start this post to be religious, i am just in between happy excited and sad at the same time, the thing is one of my close high school friends is getting married today, and everyone of my friends is going to be there, except me,(sad right?) it is going to be like a re union for them without me, (the one with the quick wits and sharp mouth, as they call me) i secretly wish it will be so boring that they will miss me so much, but who am i kidding? they are going to have the best time of there lives,.the ttheme for the wedding was the premier, (they had posters like it a movie going to be released on the 6/6/15)so cute.

Good thing tho! some of them called me this morning via Skype and i saw a few people, they all looked so pretty and happy and a combination of everything perfect, and guess what, i hadnt had a shower, (just so you know it was 3:40pm my time) yes i stayed up all night chatting with Ilja (will talk about him some other time, if i feel like it.....and yes Ilja is a He)lol.... so before i digress, i was looking disheveled, i had on hand self made braids and very little clothing( you know how you dress when you are home alone on a Saturday morning and not expecting any visitor). i know you are asking why i picked the call, well, we have limited network coverage in Nigeria, so if you receive a Skype call, you dont put the person off to go dress up, you just pick and hear what they have to say, the next question, why did i turn on the video? i had to see my girls, besides i grew up in the same room with these girls for 6 years in high school, they have seen all there is to be seen. lool.

So after the call, i rush to take a shower and dress up real nice (not too much to impress, but enough to look good and represent that i live abroad especially to the ones that i have lost contact with in the last 11years(OMG it has been so long since i left high school), i even had a photo shoot session, by myself, for myself, with myself, and made a nice dish (more like warm up what i bought from the supermarket) had a nice meal made a toast by self to the bride and groom, and then sat waiting for the Skype call to view the event.

PS; I am in no way sad, and lonely, i just miss home, and my friends!

what is or isnt!

This course mate of mine just checked his result and saw that he did pretty poorly on some courses, he of cause wrote the lectures for a remark of his script, being that he was very sure of what he wrote and did not deserve to have such poor grades, the lecturers in turn replied him and some asked that he re take the exam(for the third time), while the others said he had some issues with plagiarism hence the poor grade, this dude wasnt content, he claimed he spent weeks on week gathering materials, reading, phrasing and rephrasing, and there was no way he would copy and paste without referencing the original authors.

The semester has come to an end, every other day results are been revealed, everyone has there hands in their mouth in anticipation, when i meet some African and Non Estonian students they all have bad things to say about a lecturer who graded them poorly, i mean really, are the lecturers racists for giving you a poor result, or did you actually earn that result from what you wrote? also could it be that the lecturer is strict while marking or is it that you just put down a bunch of rubbish which you thought where right, but actually isnt?

This is the constant tussle between students and lecturers on every level of education, the student praises the lecturer who gives them good grades and the one who gives you bad grade is either a racist, or he/she doesnt even know how to lecture, or he/she is just plainly wicked, there must be something bad to say, this is interesting because it doesnt only end with lecturers and student it goes on in all aspects of the society.

You would be wondering what about me right? what were my grades like, where do i belong, to the group that insults the lecturers or the ones that praises them, well, i gave up on checking and fighting for grades a long time ago, as long as i dont fail the course, i dont care!(thats a lie) and yh, i am a student so of course i would judge the lecturer who gives me a bad grade, it is just the normal thing to do, besides if i ever go into teaching i'm sure my students will judge me too.(i'm not saying i will be a terrible lecturer tho!, but you never know, some students can be really stupid #TBT)

Friday, 5 June 2015

The realisation

So it has been almost a year already?(yes 1 month shy) but really, it just went by like the wind, i mean com on! i only recently finished my Russian language exam in Belarus and hoped on Ecolines luxurious bus for a 12 hr ride to Estonia and now i am done with all my exams for the first year of my masters degree program.

The best part, (for me it is, tho!) is that i have not changed one bit, lol that is a fat ass lie, i have literally never been this stressed in Estonia than i have been in entire life, this beautiful, tiny cosy, safe, peaceful country has drained me, emotionally i am empty, physically i have nothing to offer, psychologically ,economically,socially i'm vanished and spiritually i dont even want to go there! but some how i have managed to pull through, i take back everything i said about been the laziest person in the world, i am as strong as a camel in the desert.

Nevertheless, i have had an amazing time, i have met and dined with great people, shared thoughts and learned from the best, participated in events and competition that 2 years back i never knew even existed, i have traveled far and wide ( not so true, i have just been to the neighboring countries), had the best flatmates anyone could ever ask for, the crazy Germans, coy French,weird Brazilian and pretty Spanish ); whew! i cant believe i survived all that!

And now i am planning another trip.... i seriously wanna say, but i swore an oath to secrecy, and i am a ma (woman) of my word! 
Stay tuned for  more juicy details on my wild(boring) one year in Estonia.
PS; Thanks Matthew for reminding to share, you are awesome!